6/17/20
If I’m too quiet,
It’s because I’ve been told to
Wait, listen, and let my black colleague speak
About her hurt and rage.
If I’m still too quiet
It’s because I don’t yet know what to say
Or how to say it.
I’m deeply sorry.
I’m learning.
Please be patient with me.
If I’m too loud
It’s because I’m practicing
A new way of speaking
And being
In a new colorful world.
If I use the wrong words
It’s because I have used
The wrong words for so long
That they still are there
On my tongue
While I practice washing
My mouth out with soap.
I stand here now
Too loud
Too silent
With a mouth filled with suds
And a heart filled with
Sorrow
And regret
And willingness
To change.
Please forgive me while I continue to try.
My White Mouth II
Kathy Johnson
June 17, 2020
In my twenties
I spoke about my diet and ability to lose weight
With a friend who
Had been losing the same battle.
I hurt her feelings
And 40 years later am still sorry.
The lesson is to be kind
With every word I speak.
A few weeks ago
I spoke about my privilege
With a group including some black acquaintances
And I hurt their feelings
And I am still sorry.
I am still learning.
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